Saturday, August 20, 2011

Who am I or What am I? Can Anybody Tell Me?

Posted by pearl1003 at 2:35 AM
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Three years I've been working here in Doha for the same company, and over and over I ask myself "who am I in this company?" and "what am i for them?" or whatever....

I don't know if people understand me at all, but if you need a certain place, or I mean, a position, the right designation, or... actually, I don't even know what's in my mind right now. Maybe things in this company has to change for the better, for the progress of itself, and everybody else working for it. I applied as a graphic designer and got hired, my salary increased after four months, and my boss kept telling everyone that I am professional. "WOW!" that's what I thought. But how come he didn't even bother to promote me or call me as a "senior graphic designer"? Am I going to be known as a "graphic designer" all my life?? NO WAY! Now, I hope someone got my point.

Until now, I'm still this ordinary "graphic designer" in this company and it disappoints me a lot. Position, if that's how it's called, it matters to me, it's important. It is a sign of achievement, a progress, a growth from something you started as a simple, ordinary human being looking for a job, who turned out to be a professional, a well experienced one in your career. Position or role is necessary to help us get a better job in the future. Being called as a "senior" or "final artist" or "art director" in my field is something to be proud of. At present, I have done like tons of good designs that my boss have appreciated and loved. I've presented him ideas, and other things that the company have benefited from me. I've done paper works for him, as in everything he told me, I did. My salary increased again, and still, I am an ordinary "graphic designer".

No way, as in NO WAY! I'm not gonna stay here forever and be just that. He has to give me a position, at least call me as a junior artist. But hell no, he never call anyone of us or he never put us a place to supervise, a position or role to act like one. He never had a senior graphic designer, a supervisor, a team leader, an art or creative director.... We sit in front of our computers everyday doing this and that, and that's it. So if ever a customer will look for the head of the graphics department or sumthin' like that, my boss will just make a wild guess whoever that is! Imagine that?!

I honestly feel so bad about it. I have nothing to be proud of. I can't tell my friends that I am a supervisor or director, or whatever. Gosh, if I'll be here for ten years, and I will suddenly apply in America, they will say, "for ten years, you were just an artist?" Is it formal to answer, "duh? position in doha does not exist. like you know what I mean?" Well, I don't think so. I can't say that in Doha, it does not exist, coz it does. Maybe saying that in my company, yes it never existed at all.

So there, position means a lot to me. For three years now, I'm still wondering who and what am I in this company. I want to focus on what should I really do. If I am just a junior artist, then I will not do those paper works anymore. It's not my job. I'm not a secretary. If I am the art director, I will continue what I am doing now for the company and exert more effort, be more productive. If I am the manager, I will fire those who aren't performing well!

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